Saturday, July 28, 2007

hilarious sex advice

My friend was browsing through a sex column online and pasted this in MSN for me.

Dear Alvin,

I recently began to date a really cool chick. We have yet to have sex but I’ve fingered her in dark cinemas and in my car a couple of times. Unfortunately, after every “exploration,” my fingers smell damn terrible. I really like this chick but the smell is a great turn off. How can I break the news to her without embarrassing her or running the risk of her dumping me?

-Put Off

Dear Put Off,

Don’t get your knickers into a twist – why, the answer to your problem couldn’t be simpler! After giving your chick the finger(s), you may wish to “accidentally” run those fingers under her nose or if you’re really really sadistic, ask her to do a Kentucky Fried Chicken and lick your fingers. The wonders of manipulated “self”-realisation should never be underestimated in a situation like this.



Posted by juni @ 00:43


I don't want you to think of me as an eavesdropper so I'll just say that I'm listening to music instead of my neighbour's maid flirting with my other neighbour's driver.


I like it when people think of me as an intellectual so I will list a bunch of intellectual-sounding books here, even those I don't plan to read.


Since I can't list my porn collection here, I'll just leave it this way until I can force myself to watch non-pornographic stuff, which may or may not happen.