juni = star (geddit stupid?)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

i am @ youth.sg - confessions of a part-time telemarketer

Dear friends/strangers,

I beseech you to enter your most valued votes for little ole me. It doesn't matter if you do it because you think my entry's good, or just based on the fact that you're my friend.

JUST BE SURE TO VOTE FOR ME!

iDesire the Macbook la!

Oh and of cos, there's always some reward for your hard work (ie labourously keying in your details).

VOTERS STAND TO WIN one of the following VOUCHERS:

5 x $10 Borders Book vouchers

10 x $10 Miss Clarity Cafe food vouchers

10 x $5 Uzumaki ice cream vouchers

10 x $5 Matsu apparel vouchers

3 x $10 Pitstop Cafe food vouchers

5 sets of Nokia Nseries premiums (1Gb thumb drive,namecard holder and memory card reader)

I stress that you'll stand to win ONE, and NOT all of the above! You think you winning hamper ar!

But still, a voucher just for typing a few words/numbers is SO WORTH IT!

What're you waiting for? Voting closes on 24th May, so please help me spread this to all your friends and family! Get your father, mother, sister, brother, uncle, auntie, heck even grandmother to vote for me! I need a million votes!

VOTE B7!

-VOTING'S CLOSED-

Now for the actual entry:

Question: What would most ORD personnel be doing before entering University (assuming they can get in)?

Answer: They find jobs!

I've conformed to the stereotype and am currently very frazzled with the number of stupid and rude Singaporeans that call in on a daily basis.

Some background infomation, i'm currently a part-time telemarketing exec, handling the phone enquiries of different roadshows. Sometimes, i also get general enquiry calls which are none of my concern but yet, i try my best to answer.

Before working here, i never knew how stupid some Singaporeans can be!

Just imagine that i could have an actual conversation like this!

CLASSIC!

I've always thought that majority of the locals are educated, if not knowledgeable enough so as not to appear utterly spastic.

OBVIOUSLY NOT.

Oh! I have to share another hilarious call that i received! It actually made my department laugh!

---------------

"Er... Hello, where can i order my notebook?"

"You can go to the website to download the order form."

"That's the problem, i don't have internet connection."

(after discussion with my colleagues and much thinking)

"Do you have any friends?"

"HUH?"

"I mean, do you have any friends with internet connection?"

--------------

My colleagues laughed!

Oh the other hand, a bad aspect of being a telemarketer is that i have to handle the ching chong students from CHINA!

I must make it clear that i'm in no way prejudiced against China people, it's just that my Chinese capabilities are seriously limited. If you know me, you'll know.

I think it's a JC thing. Someone once told me that poly students generally speak better Mandarin than JC students. Maybe it's the culture la.

The very first time i encountered a China student, i had so much trouble just translating the sentence, "You have to go to the website and follow the instructions".

In the end, i told her, "Ni yao qu wang lu na bian geng zhe instructions."

She replied with a, "Er... Wo bu zhi dao ni zhai shuo shen me", in that cheena China slang.

URGH!

I also want to tell her that i cannot understand her!

However, i'd gladly talk to 20 China students than to some Singaporeans who speak perfectly good English. Some people reaaaally make me wanna clench my fists and grit my teeth, and yet, i have to speak to them nicely and try to get them to listen.

Here's one typical scenario.

These kind of customers are the really longwinded kind. They can paint a whole portrait in technicolours when they just want to simply find out the status of their order.

What's worse is if they use the goddamn irritated and impatient tone with me, as if i can control when they get their goods.

I'M JUST THE FREAKING TEMP!

But it's ok, i can get my own kicks out of this.

I simply love stressing on the "10 to 15 working days" part! I get a cheap thrill listening to the impatient customers let out a loud GASP!

MUAHAHAHAHA! CAN YOU FEEL THE SENSE OF EMPOWERMENT?

There are also customers who are just plain rude and unreasonable!

A few days ago, i was just ranting about this retarded bitch of a woman who called me up demanding i answer her question.

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Retarded bitch: "How much does it cost to service my computer?"

note she didn't even say hello.

Victim: "This is the sales department, so i wouldn't know the cost of fixing a technical issue, you'll have to refer to the service centre for the price. Why not you take down the number?"

Retarded bitch: "Why can't you just transfer me directly?"

Victim: "I will, but in case you can't get through, you can call that number."

Retarded bitch: "So i won't be able to get through right?"

Victim: "I wouldn't know, it depends on the call traffic at the service centre."

Retarded bitch: "Why can't you just tell me? There must be a standard charge to fixing a laptop right?"

Victim: "That i wouldn't know, because it is totally different departments!"

by this time i was slightly irritated and totally wanted to hang up on her already.

Retarded bitch: "Then it must be a very lousy company you're running or you must be very dumb."

---------------

WHAT. THE. FREAK!!!

Sometimes i wonder if i have done them wrong in my past life!

Now i can understand why some people flip out and go on a killing spree.

See the similarities? He must have been doing telemarketing la!

disclaimer: this entry is entirely fictional and all similarities to anyone or any events are merely coincidence. there is no malice involved in the mention of the Virginia Tech killings. in fact, i'm deeply saddened by the fact that an act of such obscene violence could even happen. my well-wishes and deepest condolences goes out to the victims and their family members.