Wednesday, September 20, 2006

the worst send-off in reality tv history...

...goes to the show "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?"

I've been downloading loads of shows from America, mostly reality programs, and i stumbled onto this ulufied show that no one's heard of.

The show's about Andrew Lloyd Webber's search for a totally unknown girl to star in the role of Maria Von Trapp for the forthcoming West End production of The Sound of Music.

You know the song that goes, the hills are alive, with the sound of muuuusic...

That song must have been sung to death in every single episode!

Anyway, i got to the point where the final 10 Marias (that's what they're called) battle it out by singing songs that were pre-chosen for them.

They were singing popish songs in their best musical production voices and it all sounded a little bit disconcerting for me. Like asking Charlotte Church, with her semi-operatic voice, to sing "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia, it just sounded wrong.

What made it worse was when i watched almost 3/4 of the show, i realised each of the Marias had only one colour assigned to them, whatever outfit they were in. It's like, whatever colour one person wore, she only wore dresses of that colour.

Soon, instead of watching them perform, i got preoccupied trying to remember what each girl was wearing at the start of the show, and whether it was the same colour now. And it was!

What kind of bad styling is that?

Anyway, at the end of the show, one of the Marias got voted off by the public and at first when the host asked her to wait by the side, i thought she would get a final parting song.

She got a final song indeed. But it was a group number and this was how it went:

[Marias who were through to the next round:]
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
[Ousted Maria:]
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

[Marias who were through to the next round:]
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
[Ousted Maria:]
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu

[Marias who were through to the next round:]
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
[Ousted Maria:]
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne

[Marias who were through to the next round:]
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
[Ousted Maria:]
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye -- Goodbye!
I'm glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly
The sun has gone to bed and so must I

[Marias who were through to the next round:]
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

The other 9 Marias stood in a V-formation and faced the audience, while the one that got eliminated stood infront of the formation, with her back facing the audience. Meaning she was facing the ones that made it through. And they were singing that song TO HER FACE.

As if being eliminated wasn't bad enough, she had to endure being ridiculed (even if the other 9 didn't intend to) and still sing solo parts about herself leaving.

It was quite a sad spectacle actually, because a few of the Marias that made it were sobbing as they were singing. You could hear them sniffling into the mics as they moved around the stage.

It was seriously an "Oh shit" moment when i was watching that unfortunate send-off. Really terrible.

Now imagine if Singapore Idol had that kind of send-off. Instead of watching an inspirational video of your idol journey, you would be surrounded by the rest and being mocked. That would be priceless.

And i just blogged pointlessly about a pointless show. If you read until here, then you're pointless too.

Posted by juni @ 22:58


I don't want you to think of me as an eavesdropper so I'll just say that I'm listening to music instead of my neighbour's maid flirting with my other neighbour's driver.


I like it when people think of me as an intellectual so I will list a bunch of intellectual-sounding books here, even those I don't plan to read.


Since I can't list my porn collection here, I'll just leave it this way until I can force myself to watch non-pornographic stuff, which may or may not happen.